Cherish My Daughter

Hey Mocha Family, How do you feel about New Years' resolutions? In the past, I've been both really excited to set goals then extremely disappointed to fail, especially when the plans are filled with lofty expectations. Was 2016 a good year for you? There were many challenges for me but pleasure is found by overcoming them. I really enjoyed making this reflective video. I didn't mention the blog, but have wondered if I should keep posting. My hope is to offer extra thoughts from my videos and to continue the conversation here as well. What are your thoughts? Thank you so much for posting comments down below. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, There were so many rehearsals and behind the scenes sacrifices involved with participating in this play, but the end result was so enriching that I am so glad we stuck with it. What a privilege to have the opportunity to be part of a production that felt very professional. The show make up was challenging for me. What I do with Head Mocha Girl who has hooded eyes, doesn't work as well with Mocha Girl 3 and Ms. Mocha Baby can look too grown very quickly if I am not careful. It looked garish to me in my kitchen but fabulous on stage. Show make up is definitely different from what we do in real life. I caught some moments from the play for this video. Mocha Girl 3 has such a big voice for such a tiny person and Ms. MB's personality is shining through! I love watch my girls do their thing! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, Watching my locks transform is like watching paint dry. Keeping my hair covered and focusing on other things helps. My hair can only shed so much every day and nothing will make my hair lock up faster but time. Beautiful locks are at the end of the road and worth the wait! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, Let me know what you think about this great time saver! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, I've had many requests for a day in the life. It would probably be ten times harder to do this with the kids around, but I enjoyed taking you along on my busy day. I thought about doing Vlogmas on You Tube this year, but the reality of my life is that I couldn't find the time to vlog and edit every day. So glad I tried it for at least one day. It was fun hanging out with you guys! Be blessed.

Hey Mocha Family, Have you ever needed to wash your daughter's hair but life got in the way? In times like these the stress is often compounded with having to be places where neatly styled hair is optimal. This holiday season is no different for me. I plan to wash and style the girls' hair in a couple of days, but we need to make their dirty hair work for an outing today. When I want to use minimal product, apple cider vinegar works famously to replace a detangling conditioner. Coupled with a good moisturizer, it seems to work just as well to smooth the hair and provide the slip I need to prevent breakage. The smell fades quickly as the hair dries. The trick is to set your spray bottle to a mist setting, because a little goes a long way. Check out the details in the video where I show you what this helped me do to make my daughter presentable in less than ten minutes. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, I praise God for my safety and how he worked out every detail in our favor. How amazing that even my car which I forced through branches to jam into that hill as much as I could to get off the road, had no scratches. I thank God for the calm I experienced in the heat of the moment, but the tears came in the morning. What a humbling experience! I could not help but to wonder why no police came for more than an hour. With everything happening in the news I couldn't help but wonder if my blackness was shining through the phone lines. I cried because of all the cars that honked angrily instead of stopping to see if I was OK. I must have looked as if I had crashed into the hill, yet no one stopped. Just when I had lost hope in the compassion of my neighbors, two good Samaritans (college boys) stopped to examine my car and apologize repeatedly for not being able to do more. I kept repeating, "I can't believe you actually stopped! Thank you so muc

Hey Mocha Family, When our son went away to college, his school started sending us offers for care packages almost immediately. We cringed at the thought of the Only One watching his friends open their packages while receiving nothing from us. The packages were expensive and we weren't sure if the Only One would truly be encouraged by the contents. Truthfully, he'd rather get a steak meal in the mail than sweets, but had someone send me Cookie Luv during midterms or finals I probably would have burst into tears. College was so intense for me. Cookie Luv is a company started two sisters.  One of whom is my dear friend, Martha. You can choose quality cookies with wholesome ingredients to send to your child that is away from home. You may include an encouraging message and have a beautifully boxed package arrive every month with a paid subscription. In this video, we had so much fun trying the cookies with Mocha Dad, Head Mocha Girl and Mocha Girl 2. They were moist a

Hey Mocha Fam! I hope you enjoy these simple holiday looks. Be sure to dress them up with hair accessories. More importantly, don't let styling be something that brings stress, taking away from all of the fun times you could be having with your girl! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, Budding has already started all over my head! While it is hard to believe one month has already passed, we all know I have a long way to go and waiting for locks to form is a serious exercise in patience. Here is my one month lock update. Be sure to check back on the 21st of every month for future updates. I am so excited to share this new hair journey with you! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! Here are some simple styles that age really well. Fuzz usually happens around the hairline. A simple braid or cornrow or two does wonders for the longevity of the style. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! Loving to write and being able to transfer those skills to a reluctant writer are two different things. The frustration is real on both sides, but sometimes finding the right materials really helps. So we far are loving Writing Rhetoric's bite size approach. No more tears and episodes of staring at a blank page while wondering what to write! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, My busy life has made it almost impossible for me to sit down and do complicated styles anymore. A huge bonus has been the performance of Mocha Girl 3's hair. Her soft fuzzy hair gets messy quickly in these simple styles, but I've noticed a lot less breakage. Perhaps the numerous braids/twists of the protective styles I've done for her in the past caused too much strain on her fine strands. I will be tracking this over time and return with a more thorough discussion. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, I am back to answer a question I received on Instagram on how to help your daughters to be able to gain independence with their hair. I hope it helps! Be blessed.

Hey Mocha Family, The locks are back! I should have known I had stumbled on something good when six years passed without a thought of me taking down my first set of locks.  I was so restless with my hair before. I'm glad I gave myself the chance to explore a low cut.  I loved everything about it except the frequent trips to the Barber.  When I decided to grow my hair out, I wasn't a fan of managing the choppy progress with Wash and Goes.  While it was easy enough to do, and looked beautiful, the gel life was offending my sensitive scalp.  Too much! Going forward, I'm sure I'll enjoy a low cut again, but feel super comfortable slipping back into my care free locked life. In the video, I mentioned that my hair is cute enough to wear uncovered, but they've shrunken even more.  I could position them better with pins, but I'd like to free my hair as much as possible to develop evenly.  I've been enjoying lots of hats and wraps.  By the time I

Hey Mocha Family, I am more than a little excited about the fact that Mocha Girl 2 can twist her own hair!  Had I known she could do such a good job, I would have let her try sooner.  She's been asking for months, but I was concerned about the fragile state of her hair.  Honestly, I like the twists she did for herself better than the ones I do.  Win. Win. Oddly, I had a similar experience with this daughter when she was learning to read.  I was a stickler for decoding words by sounding out the parts.  One day, Mocha Girl 2 just rattled off a sentence like she had been reading fluently for years.  I wanted to know how she did it!  In response, she wanted to know if I wanted her to decode it first.  Apparently, she had moved beyond that step, but willingly did what I expected of her.  Lol!  I've finally learned my lesson! I can't tell you what it does to my heart to see my girls mature to working with their natural hair.  They are miles ahead of me at that age, and I am

Hey Mocha Family, Some of you wanted to know what I do to refresh my Wash and Go style.  I typically wear it for four days before starting all over again.  This is super easy.  Don't throw your fork at the screen, ha! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, I'm getting tired of all the political drama lately too, but a conversation my kids had made me realize I'd better spend a little more time talking to them about this stuff! Do you talk to your kids about politics at all? Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! The Frohawk never gets old for me.  I love styling my girls' this way from the time they are little and have enough hair.  What amazes me the most, is how little hair you really need to pull this off.  Check me out! Be blessed.

Hey Mocha Family, When Mocha Dad and I were thinking about homeschooling our children, one of my greatest concerns was math.  I've struggled with math anxiety since high school and doubted I would be able to teach math without passing on the same fears to my kids. I thought a perfect parent was necessary for a child to succeed. Learning to be transparent and model how to navigate weakness is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.  In this video I share how I turned an embarrassing math moment with my eleven year old, into what I consider to be one of the most positive experiences we've had homeschooling. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, My plan was to remove the synthetic twists so that HmG could wash her hair, but I had a rocky week with a bad head cold so my time and energy were limited.  We decided to try to wash her hair without removing the crochet braids.  I have to say that I was very happy with the outcome! Check out what we did. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! Who would have guessed that the stress I've been experiencing during homeschool, had more to do with my eyes than adjusting to a new curriculum?  I thought I was seeing well enough but my eyes were working so hard and subconsciously the frustration in me was rising.  I am so thankful to Mocha Dad for insisting I get my eyes checked out. I thought I would be set with the first pair of glasses my doctor recommended, but was surprised to discover just how bothersome a pair of glasses you don't like can be!  In the beginning I would have never chosen the granny glasses you see pictured above, but in the video I share how they came to be my favorite of all!  Laugh all you want, as I sigh in relief. Be blessed!

Dear Mocha Family, We were going to a wedding and I had promised the girls a braid out.  The wedding was outside and the weather turned out to be overcast with periods of light rain and drizzle.  While we stayed dry under a massive tent, the humidity in the air would have killed any braid out.  Glad we checked the weather! Plan B was a full head of twists, but we were short on time and Ms. MB is extremely tender headed.  I came up with this quick and easy style in the moment and was so happy that it has a similar look  to a full head of twists with a fraction of the hassle.  We enjoyed the wedding without a worry about the moisture messing up the style.  The twists shrunk up a bit, but looked plump and full. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! Yup!  Ms. MB is 7 years old!  Here is our birthday vlog. We stopped doing birthday parties on Head Mocha Girl's (age 17) 9th birthday.  We started a family tradition called King/Queen for a day where we gift the person with as much of our time as we can, and do what they want on their special day. This has come to mean so much to us.  The greatest lesson of all is understanding that people need people and time is the best gift of all!  Check out the highlights of how we celebrated Ms. MS. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, I had to rub my eyes a few times watching this again!  Mocha Girl 3 (age 11) did such a good job for her first time.  She detangled her sister, Ms. Mocha Baby's (age 7) hair like a pro!  All I could think was what took me so long to try this? I was that little girl who spent countless hours happily braiding and pinning up my dolls' hair.  I never got tired of it and have been thrilled with the hair God has blessed me to enjoy as an adult as well. Mocha Girl 3 is the same way.  She's been asking to try her skills on Ms. MB, but as tender headed as we all know Ms. MB to be, I assumed it would be a disaster!  What a surprise to discover that we all had so much fun, and Mocha Girl 3 did such a good job. See for yourself!  I am really looking forward to seeing her skills develop. Be blessed.

Hey Mocha Family, I was thrilled when Mocha Dad and his friends agreed to have their latest Dad's United meeting filmed. This group has been such a blessing to my family and our old kids have shared what a tremendous positive impact it has had on them through their teen years especially.  Dads are so important! Movies, sitcoms and media poking fun at inept fathers can be amusing, but so many children benefit from solid guidance from a good dad.  I attribute much of my success with homeschooling to Mocha Dad's consistent support and work with our children.  I know it would be extremely difficult to get the same results without him, and am very grateful for everything he does. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! We've had a complete reversal!  Head Mocha Girl and I were so disappointed by the fail of us installing her new crochet braids last night.  I fully expected to throw them in a ponytail for worship in the morning and spend an hour taking them down in the afternoon. Joy truly does come in the morning!  I woke up recharged and thinking that I'd try a tip from a video by My Natural Sistas on YouTube to fix HmG's braid pattern and reduce the bulk.  It worked! I also took down the two cornrows at her side part and fashioned five Senegalese style twists for a more natural looking part.  HmG likes this so much better! Finally, we decided to trim the hair some and curl the ends by setting them on perm rods and dipping them in hot water.  What remained was still bigger than her natural twists but much less bulky and fake looking.  We were so happy that we didn't give up! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, I need a hug.  My wrists and hands are throbbing right now, from me getting a little too carried away with this styling session.  I honestly looked up and more than 5 hours had passed without me stopping.  I was determined to make it work, but my mission was to create a natural looking set of crochet braid (twists), not too bulky, on a super thick head of natural hair. I should have known that I was expecting a little too much. To reiterate, so you can feel my pain,  I was adding lots of hair to a head full of hair, trying to avoid big hair.  No wonder we had problems! I over estimated my years of experience with this style and underestimated what a difference it would make to choose a grid for braiding Head Mocha Girl's thick hair from people who had much shorter and finer hair. Do I sound whiny?  I'm really sorry to be feeling a little whiny. I'd like to be able to offer positive hair experiences to the girls, but perhaps one of t

Hey Mocha Family, What do you do in a situation where you feel like your rights as a customer are being violated by a cashier who is probably having a bad day?  I share my experience in the above video.  The cashier was definitely our of line, and I was ready to blow up and demand to see her manager, despite the long line behind me. I paused because, while this girl had blonde hair and blue eyes, she reminded me of my daughter.  She was young and since I frequent this store often, I knew that she couldn't have been working there long. If my daughter was having a bad day, I would want someone to extend grace to her.  Yet, I'm not sure this method was the right approach. I think I failed to realize that grace can also look like correction and redirection.  I really appreciate the feedback I have gotten so far in the comment section of the video on YouTube.  If I could have calmed myself down that day, perhaps there was a way I could have corrected her and called her manager

Hey Mocha Family! I've been hearing lots of complaining about hair in my house lately, and haven't been sure how to deal with it.  Typically, I try to redirect the girls but I realized today that maybe they just need for me to listen to their struggles.  They can appreciate their hair without being happy with it all of the time.  Bad hair days, and negative aspects of natural hair are real.  Part of coping and finding solutions is acknowledging that we find things problematic. I'm trying out a new hair vlog style of recording my videos.  I'm still learning and feeling my way around, but let me know what you think! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! If you're with me in real life, you know that I have tremendous respect for math, but while I live with an extremely enthusiastic mathematician, I'm just surviving. I think Mammoth Curriculum may be changing this situation for me. I'm not going to lie that using this is as easy and convenient as other curriculum in my past, I mean, I am truly being stretched.  I need to really think when my girls ask me a question and sometimes I find myself asking them to skip it until later so that I can go do some research to find the right answer.  I am putting more work in than ever before, but I love the fact that I am modeling this kind of effort for my girls. Hopefully, my brain will grow and all of this will get easier, or at least more comfortable. I've heard that some math teachers will insist that their students figure things out for themselves no matter how long it takes.  I've always been horrified by this approach.  What if it takes a REA

Hey Mocha Family! Confession time!  Maybe I'm a little over protective of the girls' hair.  All that patience and finger detangling would mean nothing if I just let anyone rip through their hair.  I've been a little territorial and both my mom and hubby call me on it in this video. You would have been proud of your girl, because even though my knees were knocking I turned over the Tangle Teezer to my mom and allowed her to have her Grammy moment.  I really appreciate her graciousness with doing things my way.  I have to admit that while many of us would call her methods old school, both my sister and I had thick, healthy heads of hair growing up. Be Blessed!

Dear Mocha Family, I know a homeschool mom who stopped considering herself a homeschooler when she sent her kids to Towle Institute for high school.  I wonder if her perspective is one of the reasons Towle is so clear that classes meeting one day a week, offering instruction for one hour per subject, as opposed to students receiving multiple hours over the course of a week, can't replace our responsibility as homeschooling parents to be the primary teachers of our children. I am so excited for the support and structure I am gaining from Towle, and share in detail (above video) some of the benefits we are already enjoying.  I am struck by how much my needs have changed over the years, in that I never would have imagined myself appreciating this much structure and oversight.  Yet in this season and with this particular child, I am so happy to have access to such a situation. Change is exciting. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, I've been enjoying this curl popping style all summer, but I don't love the time it takes to get the look. Something just doesn't feel right about calling this process a Wash and Go when there are so many steps to take before I can go anywhere.  I've been tweaking my system in a effort to find something quicker and I've been loving this new method.  I don't have the crisp definition of the time consuming version, but I also love the fluffy easy look to switch things up. I wanted to minimize product application so I skipped the quick conditioning in the shower, knowing that short term, my leave in conditioner would get the job done.  I skipped my Tangle Teezer altogether and I think you'll smile at the tool I'm using to shape my hair instead.  It's quick, easy and I love having the option of cleansing my scalp after 4 days without having to commit to original lengthy process. Check it out and let me know what you think! Be bl

Hey Mocha Family, One of the most difficult aspects of homeschooling for me is working with multiple kids and availing myself to everyone.  Multiple kids calling my name, though they see me explaining something to another sibling, can be so frustrating. I've learned to give myself a break by turning these situations into teachable moments.  We can all wait our turn and I always make sure my kids have some independent work to tide them over until I can get to them. Sometimes a kid is having a bad day in general or has some area of school they don't enjoy.  We set the precedent for what is acceptable at the beginning of the school year, so I work hard to stay calm and stand my ground during meltdowns.  I confess that I'm not always successful, however, in the above video I show you how I managed to bring my daughter's calm back, during our first melt down of the year.  This episode challenged me after a long vacation with much less structure than usual.  It wasn't

Hey Mocha Family! What's more exciting than starting my own set of locks?  Watching my 19 year old son start his.  My only regret is seeing his hair progress from a distance since he is campus bound.  Thankfully there's not much to do with locks.  In fact, most of what I had to share with The Only One (my son) is what NOT to do.  The short list is as follows: 1. Hand in lock disease. 2. Sleeping with a naked head. 3. Washing and conditioning with anything creamy. 4. Over twisting. 5. Covering wet locks. For anything I may have forgotten, I am so grateful for Michelle George's book, The Knotty Truth, where he's sure to find all his questions answered and more.     Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, My greatest epiphany on my first day of homeschool is a little ridiculous since I should know this already. Prayer works! I typically pray when I'm in trouble or confused, but one of the most effective ways to apply prayer is to ask God for strength, guidance and wisdom ahead of time.  A subbie, turned friend texted me to encourage me to pray on my first day of homeschool and I know it made all of the difference in the world. I am asking if you guys are interested in seeing parts of my homeschool day in a vlog.  Let me know in the comments down below. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! I announced in the video above that I miss my locks and will probably start a new set when my hair is longer.  It's a loose plan.  Who knows? Sometimes I really miss my locks and can barely stand to watch videos of myself wearing them.  Yet I can honestly say that I love the short fro and the way it makes me look.  Maybe I need to consider some sort of braid extension style so I can go back and forth between both looks. Time will definitely tell, but I find it to be exhilarating to change my hair up fearlessly, whether it means chopping it all off, or adopting a style that was considered deviant by some people not that long ago.   I love the way things have changed for us and could have never imagined it when I started my natural hair journey in 1994. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, I hope you enjoy touring our homeschool room for 2016/2017! We have renewed our commitment to HOME schooling, and I think this new location gives the perfect vibe for a family striving to learn together.  There's nothing wrong with setting up a dedicated school room, but for me, I needed to make the physical change. I am looking forward to pulling my little ones into my lap again.  I don't want to neglect my number one asset in educating my kids.  I'm still "Mom". Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, This is a great back to school style! It holds up really well if you tie it down every night.  I love mixing up box braids, cornrows and flat twists. Suddenly a very simple style has a lot of visual interest, and Mom appears to have put in much more time and effort than she did.  The cornrows help the edges stay neat longer, while holding the strands securely in a protective style.  Be sure to try fun hair accessories and positioning the braids in different ways to change up the look! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, Some of you have noticed how much better my skin looks and want to know how my regimen has changed.  I am back to answer your questions. Back in the day I regularly got on camera bare faced and my acne struggles were there for the world to see.  My camera wasn't that great so I didn't feel super terrible about it.  In January, I started using a camera that showed so much more detail than I was comfortable with.  Did you notice I started using not one but two layers of coverage? My blemishes were cringe worthy while editing. I think that one of the biggest misconceptions around is that acne will disappear for everyone once puberty ends.  My skin was perfect until puberty, but I can't say I've been able to consistently enjoy clear skin since then until now. I have made some changes and share them at length with you in the video.  Leave me a comment to share what you think.  If you've got some additional tips or found success with some of

Hey Mocha family! Is it silly to make an analogy between taking down small box braids, and labor at the end of a pregnancy? Honestly, I feel like I go through the same process of dreading it, surviving it, and forgetting about it so that I can choose to do it again!  Lol!  The analogy fails when I confess to having mixed feelings about pregnancy, whereas, I really enjoy the braid up, finding the repetitive motion and development of the style  to be extremely soothing.  I'm not sure why the repetitive motion of removing the braids and watching the style unravel (with plenty of lint and shed hair), doesn't bring me the same satisfaction. I still dread the take down but have found a number of things to be useful in getting us all through it. Hope this helps someone! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! I'm taking this one step at a time and feeling very optimistic about how things are looking so far.  If that changes, you'll be the first to know! Right now, I am taking down the final head of box braids and saying goodbye to our summer hair vacation. It had to end a week early, but not because I backed away from all of the fuzz.  I realized that my girls would be in drama camp all day for the next two weeks, and then we hit the books full force for school. This week was my best option for the lengthy take down. Don't miss my next video where I'll share how we fared and the condition of their loose hair. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! All I can say about this video (Saturday's video) being out today is....WHY???? I scheduled it wrong somehow.  Do you like the back to back releases better? Thank you so much for all of your encouragement on my Summer Hair Vacation FAIL video!  You inspired me to keep the style in until August, and in this video I show you just how right you were.  I really like the results and hope this helps someone else in a time crunch somewhere. Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! I am starting over! First, let me say that I am very grateful for the support Abeka afforded when while working with multiple students at different levels. This post is not about what Abeka is doing wrong. I've been feeling the urge to return to a more personal approach all year.  My ten year old is extremely extroverted and was really frustrated with watching a screen.  She wants to have a real person, interacting with her in real time for school.  Perhaps online classes will work for her in the future, but I noticed that she was becoming more and more frustrated with her videos and making excuses to avoid school altogether.  She came alive any time I had to stop and explain things to her.  I want to see more of that. I've been around this block before, of making a radical changes to curriculum. It's hard!  I already know Abeka video and could probably jump back in anytime.  It's more comfortable for me to return to Abeka video, though it

Hey Mocha Family! I do small box braids for the girls this every summer and we typically spend two months with no hair worries. I don't know what I did differently this time, but I just don't think we'll be able to make it to the middle of August.  Check out the video and let me know in the comment section if you think I can save my hair vacation?

Hey Mocha Family, I talk a lot about how I feel as an average law abiding black citizen in this country, but maybe you're an average law abiding white citizen who actually gets all of this, but are not sure what you can do to help. I'm not going to lie to you.  It won't be easy and you may have to take some flack from the camp your skin color put you in.  I realize that many of us would like to self identify as color blind, but truthfully our society is very conscious and unaccepting of color.  You are in a camp, even if you didn't walk there on your own, but you don't have to stay there. What I would like to suggest is that you open your mouth.  Not on the street corner with a megaphone, but when you're with your friends, family, acquaintances and the conversation comes up about the ruckus black folks are making over our perceived injustices.  I realize that you don't agree with them, and that maybe you cringe inside every time, but it would rea

Hey Mocha Family, The other day, a lady around my mother's age asked me what chemical I used in my hair to get it to look like this? I panicked for a moment and wondered if she thought I was rocking a Gheri Curl from the eighties or something.  Ya'll know, that's my biggest fear, haha! Truth be told, I have perfected my wash and go, learning how to work with the varying textures on my head.  Most of my hairs naturally form tiny coils about the size of a pen spring.  By finger coiling the other areas, I can create that pattern all over my head. I recorded the video above in real time, while on vacation.  I share all my new tricks and show you step by step how I use my products to achieve this look.  As my hair gets longer, I can wear this style for about a week before having to wash and repeat the process. Let me know what you think! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family, Sex is no shocker to God, yet I find that it's a subject we avoid altogether, or discuss in hushed tones. In my Christian circles, I seldom see anything instructional to enhance the experience, neither have I been offered a forum to garner support if I'm struggling. If I've managed to stay happy in marriage, and am enjoying better days year by year, why not share what's been learned with someone else?  No wonder divorce is at an all time high, with some people deciding never to even try marriage at all! I confess that this took more than one take, but once I realized how ridiculous my awkwardness was and how responsible I am as someone free to enjoy sex according to the biblical plan laid out by God, I couldn't get the words out fast enough!  I think God met me there and hope that you will be encouraged. Let me know down below if your experience has been different and how people around your are sharing the wealth! Be blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! I have wondered whether it is even necessary to continue this online hair conversation.  There have been so many blogs, magazine articles, and YouTube videos from documentaries to how to's and talk shows.  Now there are so many products available for us to try.  Surely, the journey to mastering a hair regimen is so much easier today, then back in 1994 when I started.  No internet, cell phones in everyone's pockets, and no YouTube for a person to access how to videos on just about anything. Back in the day I kept a dog eared copy of Good Hair , by Lonnice Brittenum-Bonner on my person both as reference, and a means of encouragement not to give up.  It helped, but I was so much more successful at staying the course upon finding support online from real people all over the world who were searching for answers just like me and open to sharing their wins and fails. According to my cousins, pictured above, who were immediately snatched for a video when

Hey Mocha Family! I snapped on the university sheets, but have to admit that they have held up really well.  So glad we kept them after realizing that returning everything wasn't worth the hassle with our busy schedules. This topic is being addressed super early in hopes that our College Freshman Parents will give themselves plenty of time to navigate the process.  There is no right way to plan, or single solution for everyone. However, I find myself more relaxed with enough wiggle room to make mistakes and change my mind. Honestly, the hardest part of everything for me was letting go and trusting that my son had everything he needed to learn whatever I hadn't taught him at home.  I had to believe that he had enough practical sense and integrity to thrive. As a parent, my inclination is to shelter and protect which is great in the right season.  College is good for testing much of what we preach and practice at home.  I found it difficult sometimes to watch my s

Hey Mocha Family! The Braid Sealer is probably amazing for the purpose it was designed.  I can see it working really well with synthetic hair.  As a hack for yarn braids though, I am a little disappointed. I just don't think it gets hot enough to melt yarn. Remember when I hacked the Satin Strands Fusion tool a few months ago to seal Mocha Girl Two's second set of yarn braids? I was really surprised to find comparable results.  Let's not rehash the details here since the video is very detailed. Check that out first.  I just wanted to come here and talk about how well the braids are holding up. This experience has gone from frustration to frustration. As I said in the video, it was a struggle to put the braids in.  Our summer has started with so much activity and I'm already tired.  Don't worry, I am steadily rethinking my commitments and dropping stuff.  Summer is for rejuvenation. Proud of myself for pressing through installing those yarn

Hey Mocha Family! So excited to be back on my deck! Not much of a product junkie so my shopping tends to be about replenishing. This is true except when it comes to accessories. Your girl loves accessories. Shoes, bags, scarfs, jewelry...bring it! When I really like something, like I do for the month of June, you'll definitely be hearing from me. Check me out in the video and let me know if I went overboard down below.  Lol! I'm also sharing about my narrow escape from spiraling into burn out.  I've done an entire series on homeschool burn out, but this one would have been bigger than homeschool. My friend and I were talking about the pressures of always doing something and how counter cultural it is to sit quietly in your own home.  I almost never have nothing to do, and boredom has been missing in my life for a long time.  Yet, isn't creativity and self discovering often found in such moments? I long to bring stillness back into my life, and to intr

Hey Mocha Family! This business of making myself available IF Head Mocha Girl (HmG) asks for help is pretty difficult. Old habits die hard. I keep wanting to suggest she try things my way, and if her interpretation of my ideas are less than exact, it's not always easy to school my features. I talk to myself. This was no less easy when HmG was mastering braids and twists. Loose hair is more susceptible to breakage, but I've been here before when HmG's hair was breaking from rough handling during her wash and detangle sessions with the braids. This process is about hair, but it's also about parenting older children.  We've taught them as best as we could, but they have to make a life of their own. Head Mocha Girl will accept what works for her best, change things up so that they suit her personal style, and possibly reject some things all together.  As a parent, it may be difficult for me to let her. Maybe I see some things as mista

Hey Mocha Family! I would be lying if I said I never make parenting mistakes.  Sometimes I'm just too stressed or get caught up in my emotions.  Sometimes I'm immature and want to go toe to toe with a kid.  Sometimes I think one thing will work when actually I've blown it. I tell my kids all of the time, "Please forgive me, I blew it!" Want to help your kids deal with reality right from the beginning?  Make sure they understand that we as parents are fallible. I've apologized to Head Mocha Girl, but check out this video to see why this dance mom failed big time. Be Blessed!

Hey Mocha Family! I will be honest with you guys.  I have to be mentally prepared for small box braids.  I love putting them in.  I would even say that the actually braiding is very relaxing and therapeutic.  A friend of mine was in the room while I was doing this set, and they wanted to know if my fingers hurt. No.  Not when I am working with a natural head of hair.  Years ago I would do mid back length individual braids on my own head, with synthetic hair.  My fingers and wrists hurt for those, but I don't have the same problem when I limit myself to one head in a day with my girls. Back to my original point.  I mentally prepare myself for box braids because I HATE taking them down.  I hate having to pick apart each small braid.  I would rather have everyone sport twists any day when it comes to take down. Box braids work better for us in the summer though.  The detangling is so much easier in the end, because the strands don't matte as much as they would in t

I watched a few of these "self roast" videos on Youtube and really wondered how in the world I could make one.  I'm not much of an actress, love to sing but my zone is back up.  I can't rap and let's face it, my video editing skills are pretty basic. I wanted to do something though, because I really believe in the message. I find considering my weaknesses in a humorous way to be extremely therapeutic.  I had so much fun sharing my struggles, and no place was given to the pity party. I hope you can relate to some of what was shared.  I know for me, it often helps to know I am not alone and that somehow it all worked out for someone.  One day, it will be my turn. Be blessed!

It's time out for letting my hair be more important than having a good time in the summer.  I avoid frustration by adjusting my expectations and making smart choices for both myself and the girls.  Always plan for moisture and remember that environment matters when it comes to products and methods. I don't care how much I like a regimen or a hair style, I need to be flexible in the summer and practice delayed gratification. Check out my favorite summer hair hacks in the video above!

When I started a hair business, began blogging and making YouTube videos about the girls, it never occurred to me that people would think I was any less enraptured of my son.  People have asked me privately how he feels about my brand, but it wasn't until recently that I was challenged by someone I had a conversation with at our homeschool co-op. The video about this experience could easily also be another one for my  "Really Lady!" series, because her opinion was strong enough to make me squirm.  It was strong enough to make me come home and ask my son if I've offended him.  Hear The Only One's answer for yourself!

This has been difficult for me to walk out.  The time I spend working with my girls' hair gives me a vested interest.  Sometimes the lines are blurred.  Is it their hair or my hair? After sacrificing countless hours to put in a protective style, using the best products I could find for my budget shouldn't the girls want to flow with me? In reality, their opinion don't gel with mine.  When they are young I try my best to consider their preferences but generally my will prevails. However, I have learned to handle my tweens and teens with care. It's an already awkward stage of self discovery.  Black women already have an uphill battle of celebrating what their hair does naturally when the general culture hypes up the very opposite.  Ever watch a make over?  What happens to most ladies with curly hair? I want to help make the process of my girls finding their footing with their hair as easy as possible. For me, this has come to mean being ready to say yes and k

Honestly, I don't know much about this couple and can only speculate about their situation just like others watching the video they shared on Youtube.  I thought it would still be useful to have a conversation about certain aspects of what they shared, but in a general sense. If you watch the Scope you'll notice that I'm pretty passionate about marriage.  I know that there are times when despite a person's best efforts, the relationship isn't saved.  My point is to always consider whether we are taking the most productive steps we can toward working things out.  Sometimes we do the best we can with what we know. I hope that by sharing what I know from personal experience, someone may consider a different perspective and possibly gain ground.

Is it easier for our teens to receive good advice from an older teen whose experience is still fresh? Sometimes. My daughter Head Mocha Girl still has another year of high school left, but she remembers feeling both excited and anxious the first year she started.  We had her friend YouTuber Sophie, from Sophie Smiles, a rising freshman in High School over to our house and had so much fun reminiscing and offering suggestions. Follow the link in this video to see the Pringles Challenge they did together for Sophie's channel.

This short hair journey is almost one years old!  I can't believe that I will celebrate one year since cutting off my locks in June. It has been wild, with newbie vibes all over again as I learn barber shop lingo and that one should definitely be paying attention to what the barber is doing with his clippers.  I'll never forget when my reward for texting and browsing Instagram was the bomb hair cut I never asked for. Live and learn. In this video I share my plans for the future and reminisce about my locks while doing the simplest make up application EVER because it's all about the hair. Enjoy!

Every good Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) has turned her children into a little army of experts when it comes to chores, right? Maybe the working moms have the monopoly on kids who actually get the job done well, because this SAHM hasn't always been successful.  There are days when we still fall short, and I am not embarrassed to walk you through my beautiful mess in hopes that I am not alone. If you just can't get a chore system together or you find yourself nagging about the same things every day, I share three problem areas in this video you may want to look at.  I know that when I am consistent with addressing these three things we do much better with chores. The trick is not slipping into our old habits and staying consistent, but I'll save that for another video.

There was a time I actually thought it noble to focus all of myself on the children, and felt offended by the implication that I should take breaks. I've learned that ignoring myself isn't necessarily selfless, and my children will ultimately benefit from a more complete me. It does occur to me that one day all five of my kids will fly the nest, and then what?  Should I worry that my skills won't permit me to pick things up where I left them before I became a mother and decided to leave the work force? I've learned to look forward instead of looking back.  I'm ever growing and changing.  I don't expect to pick up where I left off, but to build on what I've been doing all along. In the video I share what that may look like.  Check it out and be sure to let me know what you think.

Have you noticed that I love to flat twist my girls' edges for many of their styles?  I find that this keeps their styles looking neat for longer, while protecting their edges.  My girls love to twirl the hairs along their hairline absently, but they will leave the area alone because of the flat twists.  Win, win!

I felt so sorry for this mom.  I had seen her from time to time picking up her daughter, but didn't know her well enough to offer any kind of support.  Possibly, she was mortified on the inside, but my impression is the scenario was typical for her, and in such cases we can become numb to how bad we look to others.  Maybe she feels powerless to expect anything different from her daughter, but she is ignoring her greatest asset.  There is no way I would be shelling out all of those dollars to the dance school and carting my daughter back and forth if my welcome was not sure. If we don't demand appreciation and respect from our children, what other authority will they honor?

Life happens so we can't always follow our regimens the way we'd like. Rules get broken but when it comes to detangling and manipulating hair, damage may be avoided with a little bit of wisdom. Detangling dry hair  is a recipe for disaster, and products that help us get the job done without losing hair doesn't have to cost a fortune.  I really enjoyed having the girls join me for their funny confessions.  I am so glad we don't take ourselves too seriously.  You won't believe what we get away with, but we're honest in showing you that everything doesn't have to be perfect to retain length.

Common sense tells us we should know what our kids are doing on social media, and the news reveals that our effectiveness may be a matter of life and death. Cyber bullying and depression are on the rise, but with a family full of women and two men who are stimulated by their eyes, I am especially convicted about making sure everyone understands reality versus the fantasy so many people appear to be creating on social media.  We can live our best lives behind the screen even if it has very little to do with reality. Even adults struggle with understanding that it's just a filter, Baby . If it is hard for us, how much more difficult is it for our kids who have so much more to learn? No one has all of the answers and always being aware of what our kids are doing on social media can be difficult. However, the are several practical steps we can take as parents.  Watch the video for all of the details, but I will say that the heart of the matter is a need for guard rail

Here is another simple style tutorial for those busy mornings when you want something pretty but you're short on time. Not saying a complicated style isn't worth striving for, but the older I get the less important stressing myself out about a hairstyle becomes.  I love getting the girls in and out of my bathroom as quickly as possible.

Is it just me or is there an obvious difference in the way themes were addressed long ago in children's stories? For example, I was horrified to read the original versions of classics like Sleeping Beauty where the consequence for disobedience may actually be death, and adults were obviously flawed works in progress. Is it because we are no longer faced with the same challenges as families of old?  When did we begin to find our children too fragile to handle the reality that bad things can happen without a fix, even when we are sorry? I think valuable character development happens when fiction actually exposes reality, and we are forced to consider where we stand with what we are seeing.  I've noticed that my kids need a lot less shielding than I imagined from serious themes involving suffering and death especially if justice prevails.  They seem to be able to absorb the greater message despite the loss.

Your boy (O&O) has jokes, but launching him to college has probably been one of our most challenging seasons as parents. We had full confidence in his academic abilities, sense of responsibility and social skills but we felt so many conflicting emotions in watching him spread his wings. Bottom line is that we really enjoy his presence. I have spent so many years asking O&O to turn his music down, and to stop drumming his beats on my walls. Those crooked paintings and wall hangings were such a big deal to me at the time.  Can I tell you that I missed all of that? The differences don't stop there.  Every family member has a role to play and when one member shifts, we all shift and renegotiate our roles.  Change is necessary and we adapt, but a certain level of grieving is inevitable.  Interestingly, O&O didn't need to go very far for the change to be felt.  Though his college campus is relatively close, by not being in our home functioning in his fam

I love a good product for detangling and I'm curious about all of the new lines I see in the stores too. What a great time to be natural!  Back in the day we were mixing stuff up in the kitchen, because the pickings were slim. Nevertheless, this tried and true mix has yet to fail me, and I find myself reaching for it again and again.  I have used many different cheap conditioner with success, and in the video I share which ones you may want to avoid.  I hope this helps someone out there! Detangling can be a deal breaker, and anyone with a full head of natural hair will admit that the struggle is real. One thing I don't mention in the video is that this works even better for me when I apply the conditioner to damp hair and allow it to sit for at least 20 minutes. The knots begin to dissolve even before I start working with my fingers. Try it and let me know how it works for you!

We don't use scripts.  Sometimes I will have a short list of my points to be sure not to forget anything, but I like to picture myself having real conversations with real people.  The screen separating me from the audience disappears for me. Can I tell you that I am having a proud momma moment releasing this video, because I am watching my daughter grab this same vision and run with it. She really spoke from her heart in a way that's relateable even if you aren't a homeschooler, but a difference distinguishes you from the majority.  I hope you guys will take a moment to watch the video and show our girl some love!

I never want to experience that feeling of regret after making an impulsive decision about my hair again!  What amazes me the most is that I typically do something drastic over a small frustration or something I had committed to managing.  It's never anything new. The other day, I could not get my cap to fit since the top of my fro has grown out so much.  I briefly considered buzzing it off just to get my cap to fit the way I like, but was that really what I wanted long term?  Was that the only way to get my hair to do what I needed in the moment?  In the above video, I show you a simple solution that allowed me to wear my cap and keep my fro.  No regrets. This experience made me think of all of the times I relaxed my hair after growing it down to my armpits.  I realized that those were similar moments of frustration about things that weren't new, but had become so blown up in the moment, I couldn't resist the impulse.  Is relaxed hair really more versatile than n

One day I realized that with so many kids vying for my attention, I wasn't really getting close to any of them.  I was overwhelmed with managing all of their activities and couldn't imagine changing anything. I started meeting with my kids one on one in a way that I could manage at the time.  When I ran my errands I would leave all of the kids behind except one.  I couldn't believe how much I learned about each kid just by getting them alone. The family dynamic is strong and every person has a role to play.  For the kids who are naturally loud, their voices may be heard anyway, but as parents we may miss some aspects of the kids who follow along unless we get them alone. We can't parent what we don't know. I have learned that the most important thing I can encourage my child to do is to talk to me.

Hopefully this video doesn't sound like a rant that makes you want to forget all of your rosy expectations about homeschooling.  Personally, I really appreciate real talk because challenges come to everyone.  Learning is all about trying things, making mistakes, and growing as you push your way through. I am so glad we decided to start this adventure nearly two decades ago.  It has been challenging enough at times to bring me to tears, but the benefits are greater than I imagined.  I started out looking for the most perfect way to train up my kids, and discovered an imperfect situation with endless possibilities.  My best advice to my younger self would be to just let it happen and stop worrying.  My advice to myself today is to enjoy the imperfection of it all, and thank God I'm not the head honcho in charge!

In the past I have been so frustrated when trying out products and not getting the promised results. All methods don't work the same for everyone. A number of factors may be affecting our results, including how our hair absorbs the products (porosity), texture (different strokes for different folks), and the order of product usage, etc. When I read a label I tend to follow the instructions exactly.  If the product is geared towards a wash and go that failed, it gets chucked into my stash of failed products I just can't throw away because I spent the money.  It doesn't typically occur to me to try a wash n go product for a wet set. If a product works, I'll keep using it the way it works. I am not sure what made me reach for Miss Jessie's Pillow Soft Curls as my holding product for the wet set in my video, but I am so glad!  The resulting set was super soft and beautiful.  Dare I say, softer than when used for my wash n go? Check out the vide

When I decided to homeschool, I thought that buying curriculum and having a stack materials that no one could take away from me was the first step.  I still feel my blood pumping whenever I purchase a school book, or walk into an office supply store! Maybe it's OK to purchase one small thing, but I am asking you to stop and step away from your wallet for a minute. Consider the following: 1. Train your child to listen to you in the school room.  Discipline is key or nothing is getting done no matter how much money you spend on curriculum. 2. How does your child learn?  Most really young children are going to need some kind of hands on demonstration even if they ultimately prove to be auditory or visual learners.  Curriculum is often designed to work best with a certain kind of learning style. 3.  How do you teach best?  While you definitely want to pay attention to your child's learning style, it may have to be tempered by how you understand and like to work with thi

Great results using these two products together, but I had a hard time rinsing the Bentonite Clay out completely.  I am still not sure if the sticky residue is clay or what is left of product build up.  If the clay rinsed away completely, that would mean it didn't completely get the job done. This result had nothing to do with the co-wash.  I have also seen this while using the clay alone. The residue is frustrating to find when I am in the process of styling, and difficult to address without messing up the areas I have already finished working with.  I tend to carefully brush away as much as I can and revisit the situation at the next wash. If anyone has any recommendations for a better outcome, please leave it in the comment section. I will probably be motivated to use the clay more if I find a solution.

It can feel like we are sacrificing our authority or humbling ourselves too much in front of our children to admit that we made a mistake. I have learned that my kids already know when I have behaved badly. My kids know better than to shout, "You blew it, Mommy!" However, I know it and so do they. More important than the fact that I did the wrong thing or responded in the wrong way to my child, is the hurt that I have inflicted.  As a parent, it is my responsibility to model for my kids how to make amends when we inflict hurt on others. I find it to be truly humbling as a parent to apologize to my kids, but it has been such a powerful tool for growth and reconciliation in our family. When I approach my kid and say, "Please forgive me, I was so wrong for that", I validate their worth while demonstrating that justice should prevail from the highest level. Any worship time we share as a family begins by going around the circle and asking i

Have you been wanting to ask me... What is really going on with this curl definition craze of videos on your channel?  I thought you loved nappy hair?! This is really new for you! Not really. I really love nappy hair, and where there are no curls I am perfectly fine with it. Chunky fro for life! I really love my fro just the way it is, but doesn't the versatility of our natural hair still blow your mind?  Even after years of making discoveries, I am still amazed by what our hair can do! My hair looked a hot mess at longer lengths while employing the exact same methods I have used to define my tapered fro.  Can I call my TWA a tapered fro now?  Do I have enough length? Maybe my hair still looks a hot mess.  What do you think?  You can tell me as long as you keep it respectful.  Real person with real feelings alert!  I like it, though I am still tweaking things. I have always chalked up my disappointing curl definition experiments of the past, to the different texture

It is not easy to parent children when a husband and wife don't agree on discipline.  I have often seen kids practically leading their parents on a leash because they are so much at each other's throats. Sadly, the children have no choice but to take charge!  Ideally, a couple should know before getting married how they will discipline their children or at least commit to finding something they are both willing to implement.  However, if there is disagreement or someone has changed their mind through the years, practical steps may be taken to create unity. 1. Honor and respect your mate by not implementing a method they are strongly against.  Your child will benefit better from a system you both agree to follow. 2. Lay your perspective out for your spouse in a non-confrontational way.  Find a mediator if necessary.  This may include clergy, professional counselor or trusted friend (who can remain objective). 3. Agree to present a united front when dealing with your chil

If you try this tool out, be sure to hold the braid ends for at least 15 seconds. It will not burn the ends off completely either way, but by releasing too soon the yarn fibers may not melt enough to hold long term.  I have really loved the smooth finish and so far we haven't noticed the ends snagging on Mocha Girl 2's clothing. Since publishing this video, I have learned that there actually is a tool made for this with multiple reviews on YouTube.  I must have watched one of these reviews in the past and forgotten, because as I said in the video, I fully expected Sally's Beauty Supply to have something.  It's called a Braid Sealer and I ordered mine on Amazon to make a comparison.  Same mechanism, however, I expect the Braid Sealer to be hotter and leave a rougher finish.  I'll definitely be back to let you know what I discover. Both tools may be found on Amazon if you are interested. *This post contains affiliate links.