Thursday, February 25, 2016

What if I lose it with my kid? | Parenting Series

It can feel like we are sacrificing our authority or humbling ourselves too much in front of our children to admit that we made a mistake.

I have learned that my kids already know when I have behaved badly.

My kids know better than to shout, "You blew it, Mommy!"

However, I know it and so do they.

More important than the fact that I did the wrong thing or responded in the wrong way to my child, is the hurt that I have inflicted.  As a parent, it is my responsibility to model for my kids how to make amends when we inflict hurt on others.

I find it to be truly humbling as a parent to apologize to my kids, but it has been such a powerful tool for growth and reconciliation in our family.

When I approach my kid and say, "Please forgive me, I was so wrong for that", I validate their worth while demonstrating that justice should prevail from the highest level.

Any worship time we share as a family begins by going around the circle and asking if Mocha Dad or I have offended anyone.  Someone always has something to say, and sometimes we are surprised by what a kid says.  There may be a misunderstanding, and we are blessed to use such a unique opportunity to shed truth on the situation.  We find that such misunderstandings can become lies our children believe which will ultimately undermine our relationships with them.

I am convinced that good parenting isn't about perfection.  I mess up often.  If perfection were a requirement, I would be disqualified.  A certain level of transparency towards our children balances everything out.

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree with this and think that it is very important that we ask our children to forgive us when we have wronged them. I really like your idea of asking them if we have offended them at the beginning of worship time and we have begun this. After reading an article that gave me the idea I also asked them (as part of homeschooling) to write a small essay on what they wished their parents knew about them. That was very revealing and I plan to do that every once in awhile.