It is not easy to parent children when a husband and wife don't agree on discipline. I have often seen kids practically leading their parents on a leash because they are so much at each other's throats. Sadly, the children have no choice but to take charge! Ideally, a couple should know before getting married how they will discipline their children or at least commit to finding something they are both willing to implement. However, if there is disagreement or someone has changed their mind through the years, practical steps may be taken to create unity.
1. Honor and respect your mate by not implementing a method they are strongly against. Your child will benefit better from a system you both agree to follow.
2. Lay your perspective out for your spouse in a non-confrontational way. Find a mediator if necessary. This may include clergy, professional counselor or trusted friend (who can remain objective).
3. Agree to present a united front when dealing with your child. Parental authority is weakened when a child is allowed to play one parent against another. If you are not sure about your spouse's position on an issue, always ask the child, "What did Mom/Dad say about this?" Even is you disagree, support your spouse's position in front of the child and discuss your concerns with him/her privately.
4. Keep learning. We can all benefit from articles, teaching videos, classes, conferences, etc. and mentoring from more experienced parents. Parenting is a life long commitment that can feel brand new as we move from one stage of development to another.