Saturday, February 27, 2016

Clarify Girls' Hair Winter Regimen | Bentonite Clay & Pantene Co-wash

Great results using these two products together, but I had a hard time rinsing the Bentonite Clay out completely.  I am still not sure if the sticky residue is clay or what is left of product build up.  If the clay rinsed away completely, that would mean it didn't completely get the job done.

This result had nothing to do with the co-wash.  I have also seen this while using the clay alone. The residue is frustrating to find when I am in the process of styling, and difficult to address without messing up the areas I have already finished working with.  I tend to carefully brush away as much as I can and revisit the situation at the next wash.

If anyone has any recommendations for a better outcome, please leave it in the comment section. I will probably be motivated to use the clay more if I find a solution.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

What if I lose it with my kid? | Parenting Series

It can feel like we are sacrificing our authority or humbling ourselves too much in front of our children to admit that we made a mistake.

I have learned that my kids already know when I have behaved badly.

My kids know better than to shout, "You blew it, Mommy!"

However, I know it and so do they.

More important than the fact that I did the wrong thing or responded in the wrong way to my child, is the hurt that I have inflicted.  As a parent, it is my responsibility to model for my kids how to make amends when we inflict hurt on others.

I find it to be truly humbling as a parent to apologize to my kids, but it has been such a powerful tool for growth and reconciliation in our family.

When I approach my kid and say, "Please forgive me, I was so wrong for that", I validate their worth while demonstrating that justice should prevail from the highest level.

Any worship time we share as a family begins by going around the circle and asking if Mocha Dad or I have offended anyone.  Someone always has something to say, and sometimes we are surprised by what a kid says.  There may be a misunderstanding, and we are blessed to use such a unique opportunity to shed truth on the situation.  We find that such misunderstandings can become lies our children believe which will ultimately undermine our relationships with them.

I am convinced that good parenting isn't about perfection.  I mess up often.  If perfection were a requirement, I would be disqualified.  A certain level of transparency towards our children balances everything out.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Have you lost your curl defining mind?

Have you been wanting to ask me...What is really going on with this curl definition craze of videos on your channel?  I thought you loved nappy hair?! This is really new for you!

Not really.

I really love nappy hair, and where there are no curls I am perfectly fine with it. Chunky fro for life!

I really love my fro just the way it is, but doesn't the versatility of our natural hair still blow your mind?  Even after years of making discoveries, I am still amazed by what our hair can do!

My hair looked a hot mess at longer lengths while employing the exact same methods I have used to define my tapered fro.  Can I call my TWA a tapered fro now?  Do I have enough length?

Maybe my hair still looks a hot mess.  What do you think?  You can tell me as long as you keep it respectful.  Real person with real feelings alert!  I like it, though I am still tweaking things.

I have always chalked up my disappointing curl definition experiments of the past, to the different textures on my head.  While the back area is still clearly different from the front, I think the tapered sides and nape balance the textures more.  This is my best guess for why I can live with the results I am getting now whereas I gave up when my hair was longer.  What do you think?

Lately I have been enjoying defining creams more than gels.  There is a video coming out soon where I try Eco Styler on my TWA for the first time.  I am a child of the 80's and 90's and am forever traumatized by the memory of the Jheri Curl.  Sorry.

I am late to the party, but let's go!  I will be trying many new things. I hope you enjoy my experiments as much as I do.  One thing I will always stay committed to is guarding the health of my hair.  Gotta have hair to play this game!

Nappy hair.  Where you can have you cake and eat it too.  Loving it!

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Hubbie Says No Spanking | Parenting Series

It is not easy to parent children when a husband and wife don't agree on discipline.  I have often seen kids practically leading their parents on a leash because they are so much at each other's throats. Sadly, the children have no choice but to take charge!  Ideally, a couple should know before getting married how they will discipline their children or at least commit to finding something they are both willing to implement.  However, if there is disagreement or someone has changed their mind through the years, practical steps may be taken to create unity.

1. Honor and respect your mate by not implementing a method they are strongly against.  Your child will benefit better from a system you both agree to follow.

2. Lay your perspective out for your spouse in a non-confrontational way.  Find a mediator if necessary.  This may include clergy, professional counselor or trusted friend (who can remain objective).

3. Agree to present a united front when dealing with your child.  Parental  authority is weakened when a child is allowed to play one parent against another.  If you are not sure about your spouse's position on an issue, always ask the child, "What did Mom/Dad say about this?"  Even is you disagree, support your spouse's position in front of the child and discuss your concerns with him/her privately.

4. Keep learning.  We can all benefit from articles, teaching videos, classes, conferences, etc. and mentoring from more experienced parents.  Parenting is a life long commitment that can feel brand new as we move from one stage of development to another.