Hubbie Says No Spanking | Parenting Series

It is not easy to parent children when a husband and wife don't agree on discipline. I have often seen kids practically leading their parents on a leash because they are so much at each other's throats. Sadly, the children have no choice but to take charge! Ideally, a couple should know before getting married how they will discipline their children or at least commit to finding something they are both willing to implement. However, if there is disagreement or someone has changed their mind through the years, practical steps may be taken to create unity.

1. Honor and respect your mate by not implementing a method they are strongly against. Your child will benefit better from a system you both agree to follow.

2. Lay your perspective out for your spouse in a non-confrontational way. Find a mediator if necessary. This may include clergy, professional counselor or trusted friend (who can remain objective).

3. Agree to present a united front when dealing with your child. Parental authority is weakened when a child is allowed to play one parent against another. If you are not sure about your spouse's position on an issue, always ask the child, "What did Mom/Dad say about this?" Even is you disagree, support your spouse's position in front of the child and discuss your concerns with him/her privately.

4. Keep learning. We can all benefit from articles, teaching videos, classes, conferences, etc. and mentoring from more experienced parents. Parenting is a life long commitment that can feel brand new as we move from one stage of development to another.

Comments

Please leave that baby's hair alone!

I'll never forget the first time I saw Mocha Girl One (HmG) . She was an emergency c-section, and had to spend several days in NICU. She was born four days past her estimated due date and looked huge in her incubator. I imagined her to be especially delicate and feminine. I couldn't wait to frill her up, and more importantly to do her hair ! The only reason she wasn't sporting a barrette the day we took her home from the hospital, was because the one I brought to match her lacey outfit, slid right out. Mocha Girl One's baby hair was silky straight and fine. As the weeks rolled by, it became wavier until she had a lovely curly fro. I washed it all the time . I brushed it several times a day . I tried snap clips, and moved to velcro barrets when the clips slid out. I bought a different head band for every outfit. Meanwhile her curls continued to wind tighter and tighter. I kept everything in a pretty box, dubbed the hair bin . I was really frustrated at not b

Trader Joe's Castille Soap Discontinued!

There's some controversy about the use of castille soap as a shampoo. For example, popular YouTuber Kim , of KimmayTube tested the ph of Bronner's Castille Soap and found it to be much higher than the recommended range for hair (between 4 and 5). You can watch her explain her findings. She also did an informative series fraught with good visuals on understanding the effects of ph on hair. That said, I've been using diluted castille soap successfully for YEARS, but I've never tried Bronner's Castille Soap. I had a bottle of Trader Joe's Castille Soap . Turns out Trader Joe's formula includes Aloe Vera --which has an acidic ph---probably bringing down the overall ph of the product--perhaps balancing it for hair. The manufacturer recommends it's use as a shampoo right on the bottle's label. I did not get a chance to personally test the ph of my bottle, because by the time I noticed Aloe as an ingredient of my castille soap, the bottle was empty

Mocha Mom Speaks about Length Retention and Protective Styling

My hair on the day I put in my Braidlocks before the shrinkage set in. I considered making another video, but opted to return to my first love--writing. I've been reflecting on the many responses I've received on my Hot Topic: The Tangle Teezer is Breaking my Hair video. I've been wondering if there's a little more to my success story. There was a time my daughters' hair remained the same length year after year. I thought their hair wasn't growing or had reached terminal length--meaning their hair had grown as long as it could possibly grow. It never occurred to me that their hair was breaking off at the ends as quickly as it was growing in from the roots. Culturally, as people of African descent, we do many things to our hair that's death to our ends. I never set out to retain length. Something changed in me during a completely unrelated experience. I talk about it in detail in my post Her mother needs to do her

Cherish My Daughter

Search This Blog