Cherish My Daughter

"I want a relaxer"! I've been prepping myself for the possibility of one of my girls coming to me with this request for a long time.  I thought I'd consider their motive from every angle.  I thought I'd be ready. I was wrong. I've recently been in conversation with HmG about this very issue.  You've watched her hair grow and flourish and flourish.  She has ALOT of hair.  I think it intimidates her.  Sometimes it intimidates me!!! She says she believes natural hair is beautiful. She says she likes the look of natural hair more than the look of relaxed hair. She asks me anyway, "Can I relax my hair?" I shout WHY? She says, "Because I just can't see myself spending all that time doing my hair!!!  It's not worth it to me.  I just think a relaxer will be easier."  She finished by saying that the risk of damage to her hair is a risk she's willing to take. I was floored.  I JUST wasn't expecting that to be...

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Here's an update on the video Am I am rushing my daughter to do her own hair too fast? On the ride home from a trip to visit relatives, HMG shared her frustration living with fuzzy twists. I pointed out to her that if she re-twists herself, she can keep her twists as fresh as she likes. She's been practicing her twist technique on her nappy American Girl doll. I encouraged her to try re-twisting one of her twists as we sat talking on the drive. Her first attempt was too loose BUT after a few simple suggestions she refashioned the twist perfectly. We had no water and no products. I pointed out that we generally want to use both and finger detangle to remove shed hair. We had at least 3 hours left of our journey home and HMG managed to re-twist her entire head before we arrived. She complained about how long it took, but now she knows she can re-twist her own hair whenever she likes. This is the first step to independence--I couldn't be happier for her. I will contin...

To achieve this look: Cold Weather Version (I seldom do puffs in cold weather, nappy hair needs protection from extreme temperatures) 1. Wash, detangle and moisturize the hair. 2. Braid in big box braids (about 7)--firmly stitched but leave slack at the roots. Cover with silky wrap/cap (leave the cap off so the hair can air dry until your daughter climbs into bed). Dry over night. The firm braids will stretch out the hair. 3. To style. Mist the hair with water (I try not to manipulate perfectly dry hair). Use your fingers first to gentle pull the strand into the shape of this style. Gently smooth with a natural boar's bristle brush and gather the hair into a pony puff using a pony tail holder ( no metal parts) . 4. Rub a light oil between your palms and smooth over the edges. You can also use gel if you choose--but you'll have to rinse it out before manipulating the hair into a different style. 5. Cover head with a scarf to set for 20-30 minutes. Warm Weather Version 1....

Special occasions stressed me out when I was trying to conform our nappy hair to styles better suited for straight hair. No more! It's amazing how many gorgeous styles we can achieve by following our nappy hair's natural tendencies. I thought my daughters were especially lovely today. We were having so much fun, we didn't start taking pictures until after they had removed their dresses but their hair held up really well. Twists are so wonderful for girls. We kept the twists in for nearly three weeks. This morning I slicked my hands with grapeseed oil(any oil your daughter's hair likes is fine) and gently pulled apart their twists. My four year old is wearing a braid out. I no longer twist her hair long term because her hair mattes up quickly in twists. I followed the same method of slicking my fingers with oil to coax apart her strands. In some areas I used the tail end of a rat tail comb. To preserve this style at night, I either gather my daughters' hair ...

To stretch out the hair without using heat try the following: 1. Wash and detangle hair. 2. Braid in 6 big box braids. Position your braids with the twisted style you have in mind. 3. Allow to air dry overnight. 4. To style, take down the big box braids one at a time. Spritz the hair with plain water on the mist setting before applying shea butter mix/oil of your choice. Finish twisting the entire section before repeating the process with the next big box braid. If you mist and twist one section at a time, the hair won't remain loose long enough to shrink back up. Maintenance 1. Put in a ponytail ( don't pull the hair tightly). Wrap ends of ponytail around the band and tuck under. Cover with a silky wrap or cap. 2. For bath/shower, keep hair bunned but allow the hair to be exposed to steam. It may get damp, but the tension of the bun works well to prevent it from shrinking back up. Allow the hair to dry before removing the bun. We usually take ours down after break...

I'll never forget the first time I saw Mocha Girl One (HmG) . She was an emergency c-section, and had to spend several days in NICU. She was born four days past her estimated due date and looked huge in her incubator. I imagined her to be especially delicate and feminine. I couldn't wait to frill her up, and more importantly to do her hair ! The only reason she wasn't sporting a barrette the day we took her home from the hospital, was because the one I brought to match her lacey outfit, slid right out. Mocha Girl One's baby hair was silky straight and fine. As the weeks rolled by, it became wavier until she had a lovely curly fro. I washed it all the time . I brushed it several times a day . I tried snap clips, and moved to velcro barrets when the clips slid out. I bought a different head band for every outfit. Meanwhile her curls continued to wind tighter and tighter. I kept everything in a pretty box, dubbed the hair bin . I was really frustrated at not b...

One of my favorite styles to do on the girls is a Half Cornrow-Twist. Follow me step by step: Tools of the Trade Rat tail comb for parting. Paddle brush for detangling. Spritz bottle filled with plain water. Clips to hold the hair you're not working with. Shea butter mix Recipe : 1 part 100% raw unrefined shea butter, 1/2 part coconut oil, 1/4 part grapeseed oil, 3 drops vitamin E oil Directions: Melt shea butter and coconut oil in a pot over low heat. It will become clear with no lumps. Remove from heat and add other oils. Mix well with a spoon and pour into containers. Allow to harden overnight in the refrigerator. Once it is solid you may store it at room temperature. Step One Use your rat tail comb to section out a small section in the front for the braided side bang. Cornrow until you get to the part of the braid that no longer touches the scalp but hangs in a single braid. Instead of continuing a three strand braid, merge two of the strands and finish the corn row with...

Age 11! We started a family tradition several years ago of celebrating our children on their birthdays by granting them the royal privilege of being in charge of the day. We crown our girls queen and our son king on each of their birthdays. We do fun things, eat their favorite foods, and share it all with our far away loved ones online through pictures. We can't believe what a big deal this has become for our children. It's a highlight of the year every time. Head Mocha Girl's birthday fell on a Sunday, our busy worship day, so we're following our tradition today.