I know I usually come here to talk about hair, but my heart is so full right now I can't help but share. I had the most wonderful couple of hours with HMG. She's physically changing before my eyes. More and more I see the little girl fading away and the young woman emerging. She's still my little girl, but every now and then I catch a glimpse of who she's becoming. Sometimes I'm a little intimidated by the new demands her growth process are placing on me. I want to run back to story time and let me kiss that boo-boo for you and make it all better. These days HMG is navigating her way through so many issues, and sometimes when she comes to me I am humbled by the realization that I haven't mastered the situation yet myself. How do I lead her through? Inside I'm quaking. What if I make a mess of things? At times I've been afraid to be alone with her in these tough places. Today I took a leap.
I decided I would rather fumble if it means taking my chance to really know my daughter and to let her know me. For a couple of hours I decided to step outside my busy-ness, turn over the rest of the kids to their father and head to Dunkin Donuts with my oldest Mocha Princess. For five dollars and change I found myself to be so blessed by her animated conversation. It's like she was finally able to say all she'd been wanting to say and I was finally listening. I wasn't struck with the perfect answers, but I finally realized she just needed me there. Something about me--imperfections and all--was all she needed.
When I blog--making sure my wording and presentation is perfect, and when I edit my videos-- making sure not to include my moments of frustration, I realize it may come across like things are holding together really well all of the time. The truth is there muck in us all--I am so grateful that I don't have to be perfect to accomplish something good. I hope all of you out there are taking the time now to make authentic connections with your daughters. I'm realizing that God has purposed it so that especially my broken places--which tend to make me pull away-- are useful to share with them.