"Can God do it again?"
I asked myself this question over and over from the moment I realized I was pregnant with Mocha Baby. I was painfully aware of what a blessing it was to have healthy children. God had already given me four. Was I pushing it to expect any more? If I was faced with special challenges, would I be up to the task with 4 other children to care for? I knew I'd take the job regardless, but I wondered if I'd be able to do it well.
I think I fell prey to this kind of thinking because I was older than 35 when we conceived Mocha Baby, and the pressure to do more prenatal testing and be "extra" careful implied that something could go wrong for us now more than at any other time before. I appreciated the support if a challenge developed, but I felt robbed of a peaceful pregnancy.
I empowered myself by building up my support systems. I worked at accepting help from my friends. I hired a doula who offered pregnancy counseling, prenatal advice and availability for labor and two post partum visits. Most importantly, I worked hard at praying, believing and trusting God that whatever he gave me would be right for me. I tried not to worry. I was up and I was down. It was definitely a process.
My cup overflowed with Mocha Baby--as you can see she exceeds my hopes and expectations.
On this day, I'm reflecting about how much my heart can grow and stretch to love each child I'm given like they are the only child I have. To God be the glory!