Thank God!
I have learned that I can't go wrong by just leaving my girls' hair alone. There have been times our lives have gotten extremely busy. In times like these, we tend to slip out of our routines. I'll turn around and 3 weeks have gone by without a thorough wash and conditioning routine--yet my girls' hair continue to thrive.
This experience challenges the assumptions I made about nappy hair before. I once believe it wouldn't survive without extra pampering. I imagined a long list of things to do to maximize our growth. My girls' hair has taught me I can have great success because of the things I DON'T do.
Embrace the fuzz.
I've observed our measure for neatness to be based on a straight hair aesthetic. Neat hair is considered to be smooth and shiny hair. In the past, my pursuit of neatness has been the death of my girls' hair. I was simply doing too much and denying their hair too much moisture in an effort to keep it neat longer. I've learned the following;
1. Nappy hair likes to be left alone.
2. Nappy hair loves moisture--WATER moisture--not the grease coated slickness I once believed was moisture.
3. Nappy hair is fuzzy and can be frizzy.
4. Nappy hair is forgiving. I can relax my routines and watch for what the hair needs and if I miss it everything will still be OK if I honor points one and two.
Last year I took ill for about a month. Most days all I could do was brush my daughter's hair back into a ponytail. Her father is hopeless with hair so it didn't get washed for a few weeks. I was so worried that so much damage would have been done because up until then I had been so careful about maintaining a strict routine and keeping it in protective styles. But when I got back to normal and started to care for her hair again I noticed that everything was still okay. Her hair didn't freak out from the lack of attention. That has certainly helped me relax from day to day regarding our regimen. I still try hard to keep it but I'm not hard on myself anymore if we miss out on some of it.
ReplyDeleteI have never overdone dd's hair. I wash it with shampoo once every few months and do a no poo every 3 weeks or so. I don't do a lot of spraying on leave in but occasionally use coconut oil. Everyone tells me how long it is but it has always been in protective styles; mostly twists. I'm getting a lot of mileage about of twisting with yarn; cheap and keeps it neat for quite a while. She has super thick 4b hair so it keeps a style well. I'm almost at the end of a two week style now but will only refresh the front as it's picture day on Friday! Love your blog and you tubes.
ReplyDeleteExactly Shan!
ReplyDelete@ Patience...I knew I couldn't be the only one! Thanks for sharing.