Friday, January 7, 2011

Hot Topic: Relaxed Haired Mom, Natural Haired Daughter

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  1. Thanks Natacha. I agree that a mom can be an amazing mom even if she has relaxed hair while her daughter's hair is natural.

    In my case, however, if I had girls when my hair was still relaxed I think I would have caused them to have a negative view of their natural hair.

    When my hair was relaxed I had little appreciation for coily, kinky hair. So in my case, I am very glad that I've embraced my natural hair before having daughters. When my hair was relaxed I saw my natural new growth as an intruder. The catalyst for my transition to natural hair was my dislike for the relaxer chemicals. And truly, when I first started my journey I wasn't sure how much I would even enjoy natural hair. I was just hoping to be able to manage it ... enjoying it seemed a bit much to expect.

    I pleasantly discovered that the joy has exceeded my expectation. I'm having such fun with my natural hair. I enjoy the versatility and spunk these spirals have. Now I feel like I can truly celebrate my girls’ hair because I have an appreciation for natural hair that I didn't have when my hair was chemically processed. For me, it has been an asset in my mothering.

  2. You put that so well Dr. D! Thanks for sharing!

  3. Well said Dr D.
    It is a hard decision and my daughter is still very young. But I do want to preach by exemple. I guess before accepting my daughter`s hair, I have to embrace my own

  4. I'm a relaxed haired mom with a natural haired daughter. I make a point to identify there are different types of hair, skin color, etc. But just because they are different doesn't make one type better or worse. Having a relaxer is a personal choice and although I won't have it done for my daughter, I also won't be upset if she decides to have it done when she's older.

    Natural hair takes a lot of work to maintain and keep healthy. I've had to learn that the hard way with my child. Now her hair is to her shoulders (when stretched) and it is very thick and healthy. If she questions why I have a relaxer and she doesn't I will explain that it was a choice that was made for me when I was a child and she will appreciate being able to make the decision on her own. Right now she enjoys her braids & twists too much to notice.