Monday, June 27, 2011

Should you lock your child's hair for you?

What if my four daughter's had locks and I allowed their locks to free form--meaning I allow the locks to form on their own? Even if I chose to cultivate their locks, wouldn't my routine would be much simpler? Imagine only having to maintain one to two inches of new growth every other month by twisting or latching the roots! Imagine NEVER detangling again! I mean, I don't think locks look that great--maybe on some people, but wouldn't it be worth it so I wouldn't have to struggle through these long grooming sessions anymore? It's taking over my life, shouldn't I have the right to choose whether I want to give that much? What about me?

OR

I feel so blessed to be able to adopt this baby girl from the continent of Africa. I only know how to deal with straight and wavy hair. I love my new daughter so much already, but I'm completely overwhelmed by dealing with her hair. My friends are telling me I don't stand a chance, and that the easiest thing for me to do is lock my baby's hair. Nappy hair is so much harder to manage than my own hair. Maybe they're right because I can't imagine weaving those complicated styles I've seen Black mothers do on their daughters. Maybe that skill is innate. My one Black friend is always telling me to do exactly the opposite of what I've been reading online on the hair blogs. I know she doubts I can handle this. Maybe I should lock this baby's hair...if I do it early enough, she'll never know the difference.



I tackle this issue in my latest Hot Topic Video. Check it out--I look forward to reading your thoughts.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Happy Father's Day!


I say it all of the time....my kids have the BEST father!
Happy Father's Day Mocha Dad!

Friday, June 17, 2011

The PRODUCTS I Use on My Girls' Hair

Many of you have requested a video so I'm doing one, but you should know that I'm NOT giving credit to any particular product for the success I've had with the girls' hair.

I think we fall prey so much to false marketing and many of us will buy anything that promises to increase growth or eliminate dryness. I've had a cabinet full of products in the past that did absolutely NOTHING toward fixing the problems I was experiencing with my girls' hair. Their hair remained the same length year after year and was very dry and brittle.

I had to change my expectations, my methods and be committed to just letting their hair do what it was designed to do. This can be very hard, especially when many cultures use the straight aesthetic to measure beauty. In my experience, trying to keep vibrant nappy hair smooth and perfectly coifed at all times is a recipe for dryness which often leads to breakage. People who know me in real life can testify that I am at home with A LOT of fuzz and frizz--may be too much for some.

Watch the video.

I'm not saying there aren't good products out there, but we should definitely understand what we can expect from these products and how to make wise purchases.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Lost Art of Homemaking?



I don't know if the art of homemaking has been lost, or if our girls just aren't interested in focusing much energy at home. My mother was and still is a fantastic homemaker. She worked full time while raising my 2 sibling and I, yet still had time to make delicious meals, clean, do laundry, and grow thriving plants. I grew up thinking these skills would get magically transferred to me, despite my resistance to coming along side my mother to do what she did and be trained.

I remember countless arguments, and feelings of frustration whenever my mother asked me to help her cook, or fold clothes. I found the work a tedious waste of my time, because as soon as we were done, it was time to start the same tasks all over again. What gratification was there in a job that is never quite done? It wasn't until I was an adult, with a family and home of my own, that I found myself picking up the telephone over and over to consult with my mother, about all of the things she had wanted to teach me at a time I was too rebellious to learn.

I've been floored by the response I've gotten from the homemaking tips I've shared on the YouTube channel. When I was approached to share a little more about my home life, I imagined I'd get no response. Instead, you're asking for more and contacting me privately to share your personal struggles. Wow!

I would like to encourage you to be patient with yourselves. I've been married for 17 years, and been a mom for nearly 14 years. The methods I am sharing today didn't evolve overnight, and I am STILL learning and making mistakes. At times, I've burned my share of meals, overspent, fell behind chores and felt like hiding in my closet when it seemed like the kids were in charge instead of me. At times, I've yelled or been too harsh, and had to go back and apologize to my kids. At times, I've mouthed off to my husband, and been unreceptive to his needs. At times, I've failed to pray and stay close to the Lord. No one is perfect, and even those who are no longer making the mistakes you are making today, are making their own new mistakes. We're all on a path of growth. I've learned to maximize my mistakes by using them to improve my systems, and to keep me humble enough to be receptive to being taught.

In my latest video I share several books on getting organized, written by a close friend and mentor who has authored even more books on the subject since I purchased the three discussed in the video. Check them out and let me know what you think!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Change the Attitude...

...toward the word nappy because the word isn't going anywhere. This is such a big deal to people, and from time to time I'm confronted about why I embrace the word. I love it because it spurs just the kind of conversation I'm after.

Here's a video response I made to abht01's video: "Get rid of the word Nappy".